It is funny I tagged Hyperbole and a Half and the Four Levels of Social Entrapment on Thursday's post - I wasn't joking when I told you that post was my life.
On Friday I was running on Route 201 near my house when I heard a vehicle slowing behind me.
Ugh. Someone is stopping to talk to me. Again.
I honestly do not understand why some well-meaning people find the need to stop and talk to me for 20 minutes when I am in the middle of a run. Usually it is it is either 90 degrees (and I am under hydrated and just want to get home) or -20 degrees (and I am freezing my butt off and just want to get home - see THIS post).
I would say it is a small town thing, and partly that is true, but often I only kind of know the person stopping to chat, and usually that person is convinced that we are way better friends than I think we are.
This can be awkward, because half of the time I can't even remember their name. Usually they are a friend of a friend who I met once at a bar 6 years ago, or someone I went to high school with, or a friend of my parents.
I try to keep running and make believe the truck is not there, and not stopping for me. Which does not work at all.
(HONK HONK) "HEY! MANDY! Oh my god!!! MANDY!! It is me!! You know, that person you hardly know!"
"OH! Hey....you! Sorry, I didn't notice that big cherry red Chevy with the bright orange flames on the side, the over sized tires (this guy MUST be running over small cars for kicks), obnoxiously loud, sawed off tail pipe, the Calvin peeing on the Ford sticker, and the naked women mud flaps! I must have missed it because I was RUNNING. So sorry to be so rude!"
"I see you are running!"
"Yes, I am running."
"How have you been? I haven't seen you forever!"
"I am good, thanks! Yeah, it has been so long I forgot who you were!"
"You are still running. That is something else."
I have a smile frozen on my face, wondering how I know this person, how I can dump him, and whether there are any viable escape options. I look to my right. The river. I look to my left, long steep gravely hill.
Damn. No escape. The river is looking good though.
"Yup, still running. Actually, you might not have noticed, but I am trying to finish a run right now."
"Yeah! I saw you were running, that is why I stopped! Are you training for the Boston Marathon again?"
"Uh, no. I have never done the Boston Marathon. I am just out running I guess, hoping to finish this run."
"Huh. That is awesome! You look the same!" He then stares at me expectantly with a big goofy smile, like a monkey is about to fly out of my butt.
"Uh. Thanks. Um, you too!"
"Huh huh yeah, well I gained a bit of weight you know." (pats beer belly)
(Awkward silence. Do I agree? Disagree?)
He fidgets with something in his truck, I kick the ground, bite my lip, and look around everywhere but at him, wondering if maybe I went to high school with this guy? That must be it. Maybe. I have got to get out of here.
"Well, I guess I am going to keep running. Great to see you...you!"
"Yeah Mandy it was SO AWESOME to see you!! Good luck in Boston!"
A big THANK YOU to the awesome people at Perfect Foods for sponsoring this contest, you guys ROCK! I had 80 comments/entries to the Perfect Foods Bar contest - thank you all so much for entering! I went to Random.org and entered 1 through 80 and the winner was...
Jeffrey from Reckless Abandon! You just won 2 boxes of Perfect Foods Bars you lucky dog! Please send your addresses to me at manfarr1974 (at) yahoo (dot) com and we will get those to you!
Swim: 10 miles, all open water.
Bike: 339 miles
Run: 55 miles
This week's numbers:
Swim: 3 miles, all open water
Bike: 68 miles
Run: 17 miles